Go To Bed Angry


There is no better way for a couple to show their commitment to one another than to go to bed angry.

Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it?

In fact, the most common piece of advice most couples hear during wedding day toasts are, “NEVER go to bed angry…”

Well I say “GO TO SLEEP.”

Going to bed angry says something very profound about your relationship.

It says…

“Yes, I’m angry with you right now, but I’m also sleepy. So I’m going to bed. And you know what? Tomorrow, I’ll still be here so we can talk about it more then. And if we still haven’t sorted it out by then, we’ll go to bed, wake up and try again the next day. Because we LITERALLY have the rest of our lives to sort this stuff out…”

In other words, when you choose to go to bed angry, you’re saying that you aren’t going anywhere. No matter what.

You’re saying that you actually meant that whole “till death do us part” stuff  when you said it in front of all your friends and family.

You’re saying that sometimes in life there will be problems that are too big to solve in one night, and that’s ok…

…that’s what true commitment looks like.


P.S. Here’s another piece of advice for couples:

Fight naked.

Yep, I said fight naked. Seriously, as an argument unfolds, just start stripping. Feel free to do it even while you’re yelling at the top of your lungs.

When you’re young and attractive, there’s a tendency for all that negative energy to be shifted into more positive and productive places.

When you’re old and saggy, you’ll be laughing too hard to fight.

So whether you’re laughing or you’re…well…you know…I’d say it’s a massive improvement over fighting.



    • says

      I’m pretty sure I stole it from a wise old man who gave the single best wedding toast I’ve ever heard. I can’t remember who he was, or even which of my friends’ wedding it happened, but I remember that line.

  1. Leslie says

    Thanks for the laugh, Ryan! Seriously, though, brilliant advice. I can’t count the times I’ve heard the old ‘never go to bed angry’ advice. The times that my husband and I have gone to bed angry, I felt like a failure because in the back of my head I heard, “You’re supposed to resolve this before going to bed!” But you’ve given it a fresh, real world perspective. My husband and I are definitely in it for forever. And fighting naked? I imagine it’d be hard to continue fighting after that! I’m a student of yours–Number One Book System. Again, thanks!

  2. Roseann says

    I love the advice fight naked! I think it will help keep things from getting too intense (on the anger side).

    I kinda see your point about going to bed angry, but I think it depends on the couple. In my marriage we don’t go to bed angry. We know that not everything can be resolved in one night, but we make it a point to talk about things and know that even if there’s no resolution, at least we’re not at each other’s throats when bedtime comes. Before we adopted that rule, we would get in fights and end up not talking to each other for days/weeks on end because we were both separately stewing in our own anger. So I think it really depends on the couple. But it’s definitely something to think about!

  3. Omari says

    Fantastic advice.

    Most times I wake up and forget what the fight was about in the first place… and then I’m quickly reminded lol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *